"I want him to look like me"

Dad, this one's for you. If you're circumcised and you've got a boy on the way, there's a good chance "he should look like me" has crossed your mind. Maybe your partner asked what you want, and that was the first thing you said.

You're in good company. Researchers have been studying this since the 1980s, and they keep finding the same thing: a father's own circumcision is one of the strongest predictors of whether his son gets circumcised. (Brown & Brown, 1987) In one survey, 82% of expecting parents with a circumcised dad planned to circumcise a son. With an intact dad, only 15% did. (Rediger & Muller, 2013)

So it's not you being weird. It's how this has been passed down for generations. Let's just look at it honestly.

Why it feels so important

Usually it isn't about being "more of a man." It's simpler than that. Your body is the one you know. It's what normal looks like to you. You want him to feel like he belongs in the family, and you want to be able to answer his questions.

All of that comes from a good place. Here's the other side of it.

Things worth thinking about

He's going to compare himself with kids, not you

Most boys don't spend a lot of time comparing themselves to their dad. They compare with friends, teammates, and whoever is in the locker room. And that locker room has changed. In 2022, fewer than half of US newborn boys were circumcised in the hospital. In the western US, it was under 1 in 5. (Yang et al., 2025) Your son's generation is going to be a mix.

He won't look exactly like you anyway

He might get mom's eyes, your nose and grandpa's height. Kids look different from their parents in all kinds of ways, and nobody plans surgery around it. A foreskin is one more difference, and an easy one to explain: "You were born this way. I was too, but my parents made a different choice."

You can still teach him everything he needs

A lot of circumcised dads worry they won't know how to help. Good news: there's almost nothing to it. When he's little, you leave it alone. No pulling it back, no special cleaning. When it starts to retract on its own, which can take years, he rinses under it in the shower. That's it. (AAP, HealthyChildren.org) Here's our full guide to caring for an intact boy.

It's the one choice he can't take back

If he grows up intact and decides he wants to be circumcised, he can do that as an adult. If he's circumcised as a baby and wishes he wasn't, there's no undo button. The best he can do is years of restoration. Leaving him intact is the only option that keeps his choices open.

Here's the fun part: you can match him

If looking alike really matters to you, think about it the other way around. Foreskin restoration takes most men a few years of gently stretching the skin they have. Start when he's born, and by the time he's old enough to notice, you could look a lot more like him.

Thousands of men restore for themselves, for comfort and sensitivity. Doing it for your son too is a pretty great reason. Here's how restoration works.